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Here is a picture of a wristband we had specially designed to celebrate Alexander's birth. It has his name on the front and his life verse on the back. His life verse is a biblical passage that we hope will guide him through life and provide him comfort in times of need. We chose Psalm 37:23-24 which reads,

If the Lord delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Raising Confident Kids

Last night, as I was doing research on the 2008 election, I stumbled across a Christian website for men. The website titled, The New Man Magazine, is a great tool for Christina men who wants to improve aspects of their lives that need attention. From faith to fitness, this website covers it all.

In the blog section, I saw this piece on fatherhood and thought I should feature it on my blog. Raising Confident Kids is the title of the post and Tommy Newberry's main theory is the power of Positive Memory.

Newberry explains that,

Kids with real confidence have what I call a “Positive Memory.” This means that they tend to notice and stay mindful of what they do right, instead of what they do wrong. This mental habit is learned (or not learned) as a result of exposure to grown-ups who possess and emphasize this positive memory.

Therefore,

When your children see that they’ve made progress–even a little–they want to succeed even more. This gets the momentum going. Often, as dads, we shut our eyes to the progress our kids are making because we’re fixated on perfection. But demanding perfection is a toxic mental habit that only serves to amplify your children’s weaknesses.

I really like this theory and it goes great with Newberry's philosophy of having a Philippians 4:8 attitude.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

In conclusion, Newberry urges us to,

Remember, what gets impressed through your habitual thinking gets expressed through your circumstances.

Amen Brother.

Do I Have What It Takes?

One of the first questions that I asked myself after finding out that I was going to be a father was, "Do I have what it takes?" I wrestled with that question for a couple of weeks until I came across a book in Hackman's (Allentown's Christian Book Store) titled, "You Have What It Takes" by John Eldredge. It was a small book (only 53 pages) and it only cost $2.99 but it was big on answers.

The book opens up with the basic question every child is asking their father. For a boy, that question is: Do I have what it takes or Am I good enough? For a girl, that question is Am I lovely or Am I worth fighting for? These are the questions that all boys and girls are longing to ask and desperately seeking an answer. Eldredge writes that you should always answer this question with a resounding Yes!

Eldredge points out

You, Dad, are the most powerful man in the world...at least their world. Your children are looking to you to answer the deepest questions of their lives. How you handle their hearts will shape them for the rest of their lives. (14)

Eldredge illustrates that as mothers show children how to love and mercy, fathers are blessed with the task of shaping their identity.

A boy learns if he is a man, if he has what it takes, from his dad. A girl learns if she is worth pursuing, if she is lovely, from her dad. That's just the way God set this while thing up. This power he has given to you. (15)

Looking back on my youth, I also longed to hear those words come out of my father's mouth. From softball, football, track, and in the classroom, I was always seeking my dad's approval and his assurance that I was good enough: that I was good enough to carry on his name and that I was good enough to make him proud to be my father.

It took a long time but I finally got to hear those words shortly after I graduated from Harvard Divinity School. As my family was walking around Harvard Square, my dad and I went into the Coop to frame my diploma. As we were waiting in line surrounded by Harvard students, my dad turned to me and said, "You're graduating from Harvard with all these people from around the world...I'm proud of you, Son." It was a great moment in my life and I will always remember that day!

My goal is to have moments like that with my children. Starting from a very young age, we have to shower our children with love, self worth, and the notion that God cares about them. These are only a few of the tools that we need to parent our children into the people we hope and pray they will be. Stay tune for more tools in the future.